Creating transformational change in our lives requires resilience, as does dealing with any challenging situation. But what is it that makes us resilient … or enables us to be resilient? I had a good lesson in that recently during a hospital visit.
Most of the time when we talk about resilience and being resilient, people tend to focus on our mindset, mentally and emotionally, in relation to coping and bouncing back from stressful situations. They refer to our ability to control, or at least manage, our responses when things go bad for us – just like the mantra below. How we respond affects how quickly we can recover.
Well, recently, it was brought home to me very soundly, just how much our physical state affects our ability to be resilient … not just our mental and emotional state.
I have resilience – hands down for sure – and cope very well with most situations. I’ve had plenty of challenging experiences in my life in which I’ve proved my resilience. So I pride myself on being able to cope with almost anything. I usually can! Happy to share more stories as we get to know each other.
But … last month I had to go into hospital to have another stent put in my heart. I had one 2 years ago, which was a shock at the time as I was told my main artery in my heart was 99% blocked (ARGH!! God knows how I stayed alive through that situation … ah that resilience I mentioned huh). This time I recognised the same symptoms as I had last time and got myself to my cardiologist pretty quickly. He got me booked in for an angiogram … but 3 weeks later. After 2 weeks I decided I was getting worse so, under my cardio’s instruction, got myself taken down to Emergency. I wasn’t worried. I’d been here and done this before so I was confident I knew what to expect.
As my cardio predicted, they admitted me almost straight into the cardio ward and scheduled an angiogram the next morning (1 week earlier than my booking). I’ve got to say, I love the French medical system … and all this for no charge (well apart from the insurance and social services taxes I pay).
This is where the lesson in resilience and the importance of our physical state starts.
I’d had my healthy smoothie for breakfast at home that morning but nothing for lunch. Dinner in the hospital was a small piece of overcooked white fish (about 5cm x 5cm) and a plate of mashed puree (possibly potatoes in a previous life). It was a plate of white with very few nutrients on it.
That night I had a nightmare experience with my roommate, who thought she should be able to have the TV on all night while she snored away. On my 3rd request (22.30, 23.30 and 00.30) I finally got a nurse to turn off the tv because I could not sleep with that light flickering – much to my roommate’s disgust.
The trouble is, by then I was so agitated that my heart was beating super fast (yeh not good in the cardio ward) and I was wide awake and couldn’t fall asleep until after 4am. Then, of course, they woke me up for vitals at 6am. I dozed a little after that but not proper sleep. It was exhausting.
The day of the procedure they were also fasting me (no food or water) after dinner at 6pm the night before. So after the minimal food the day before and almost no sleep, I was starving, dehydrated and extremely fatigued. That was my physcial state going into my heart procedure at about 11am. On entering the operating room, I told them that I was going to faint so they gave me something for nausea. This was the beginning of my decline.
Well the angiogram technique is an amazing advancement in technology where they feed a tiny cable into an artery in your wrist, up through your arm and across your chest and into your heart … all while you are fully awake. A normal simple angiogram takes about 20 minutes. My first one took 40 minutes because it needed a long stent. This time it was more complicated. They found a ‘marginal’ blockage (of about 50%) so they had to test if that was reducing the pressure of the blood flow … and yes it was. Then he had to put in a large stent, which he wasn’t even sure would fit through my artery and he said it would hurt. It did! I was laying there wishing they would hurry up and finish … and that I I had been given general anaesthetic.
The whole process took about an hour and a quarter, and I just wanted to get out of there and have something to eat. After they had finished, my body went into shock on the operating table – freezing and shaking uncontrollably. Then I just started crying. I’d had enough! I couldn’t cope any more and I broke down. The fatigue, the hunger, the dehydration left me without resilience. Add to this I was feeling very alone (a symptom of moving to another country on your own) and I was pretty much mush.
After a couple of hours in recovery (still no food or water) I finally recovered enough to go back to my room. It was about 2pm I think. I asked for food and they brought me a plate of the mash puree again with a slice of ham and a white roll.
Seriously, that was my sustenance after 20 hours with no food or water. Thank goodness for my nut and chocolate protein bar that I had thoughtfully put in my bag when I came. Yes I’d had the hospital food before!! Awful experience. I did feel better after eating something though and managed to doze. That night my roommate was a nightmare again, but I managed to get her TV turned off by 11pm much to her ire and swearing.
I had plenty of time to think about how well I had coped with the whole affair. What became clear to me is that to have resilience we need to be in a good physical state and somewhat fit and healthy – physically, mentally and emotionally. We need to make sure we get the sustenance our body needs to keep performing at our best … even if that is about coping with the worst. It’s not just about being mentally strong but also physically strong. So the better state we can keep our body in, the more resilient we will be capable of being, which will help us mentally and emotionally as well.
Of course there is more to resilience than just the physical, but that’s a necessary component! All the information about mindset is very important … but thats for another blog.
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